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English Socer

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English Soccer

English Soccer

English soccer is a huge topic. We have pages on the history of soccer , the England national team, English soccer leagues and links to news sites where you can find the latest scores on every game in the English soccer leagues.

The highest point for English soccer came in 1966 with victory over Germany in the World Cup Final, and no English national team since then has been able to repeat that success. The top English league is the Premiership consisting of 20 teams, and replacing the old First Division of 22 teams. In recent years, the gap between famous clubs at the top, such as Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool, and those at the bottom has been widening. This is partly due to the greater purchasing power of the richer clubs.

The old second, third and fourth divions have become the Nationwide league, and are largely unchanged from their predecessors. The only major change is the play-off system in which four teams finishing 3rd-7th in the league play against each other for the third promotion place. Under the old system, the first three teams were promoted.

English soccer continues to have a large number of semi-pro and amateur leagues with hundreds of thousands of people playing soccer on a regular basis.

Other articles

English Soccer, The History and Style of The Three Lions

english socer

The Rabid Fans of English Soccer

Put quite simply, the English have a passion for the sport that is rivalled in few places around the world. English fans are particularly rabid and always set the highest of expectations for their national team.

Unfortunately, these lofty expectations are rarely ever met, with England having only once won the World Cup. Interestingly though, this World Cup victory came in 1966 on home soil, the only time the host country has ever been crowned world champions.

Aside from this, the English team is actually quite steeped in history and shares the honours with Scotland as the world’s oldest soccer team, both having been established in 1872. This long history sees the aforementioned World Cup victory, as well a 4th place finish in 1990.

Usually listed in the top 10 on the FIFA rankings, England typically shows much promise. Unfortunately, it has yet to deliver much success in its most recent international campaigns, much to the chagrin of the always optimistic English media.

English Soccer Style

The English soccer style is best described in one word: physical.

Even at the domestic level, the English Premiership represents an often times brutal form of the game, especially for the many players who play there from overseas.

There is usually intense fighting in one-on-one situations to try and win the ball, with shoulder checks, front blocks, and slide tackles all being featured prominently in the English game.

Tactically speaking, the English style also uses long balls to set up attacks rather than relying on extensive possession.

Quick runs down the flank also lead to the many crosses that feature so prominently in this style of play. In fact, the English style is often characterized by many, many crosses swung into the penalty area and relying on the size and strength of the striker to direct the ball into the goal.

The Domestic League: The English Premiership

If we’re talking about English soccer, then the English Premiership deserves to be discussed.

Perhaps owing to the vast amount of money that is available to teams and sponsors in the United Kingdom, the EPL boasts a collection of world class players the likes of which is unheard of elsewhere in the world. With the exception of La Primera Liga in Spain (whose wealth is really only locked up in the top two teams, Real Madrid and Barcelona), teams in the EPL are able to outspend their rivals from around the world and field squads containing some of the best players in the world.

Players come to England from far across the world and bring with them their own culture and style of play. At the same time, the intense physical nature of playing in the EPL becomes an asset for these teams when they return home to play internationally for their birth nations.

As a result, the experience of playing in England in such a physical league and against the best players in the world on a weekly basis ends up being a huge advantage for the players who have the benefit of playing there.

As they say, intense competition breeds success!

Take a look at other european soccer styles:

Helpful Terms to Know When Watching English Soccer

Helpful Terms to Know When Watching English Soccer My fellow Americans, here are some terms which you might want to know if you’ll be watching English football, aka soccer. This has been months in the making but really took shape during the recent first round of my English Soccer Tour .

Not all of these are “footy”-related, but you’ll run into them, anyway, as I did.

Of course, it’s an ongoing process, so for you English folks reading, perhaps you can make suggestions for new ones and/or correct me where I’ve messed stuff up here.

I’ve put together this list of Frequently Asked Questions to help you get started planning your soccer adventure. I also have a more detailed blog post full of starter tips. But now I have something even cooler: Consulting services!

If Hull gets a guy sent off and then loses to Chelsea, then you would say Chelsea beat 10-man Hull. Funny thing is, the Hull man could be sent off in the 90th minute with Chelsea already ahead, 2-0, and commentators would probably say “10-man Hull.”

The supposed gold standard in points for staying in the Premier League. Lower and middling teams are always thought to be shooting for this first, then perhaps “climbing the table” and shooting for a “European place,” or else “making a Cup run.”

A half is 45 minutes, so if you spend two minutes dealing with an injured player, the ref adds two minutes to the end of the half. He also generally won’t stop the half during an attack by one of the teams.

Commercials: What all English people will all mention, rightly, with regards to watching the NFL. They will also generally say “bloody hell” when discussing our football. (There are no ads during soccer games, except at halftime)

Against the run of play

Let’s say that Aston Villa starts off well (brightly) and is dominating possession, “asking all the questions,” etc. — but then West Brom scores “from nothing.” Folks would say that goal came against the run of play.

All over the place

Playing like shit, especially on defense. This is funny to us Yanks, because if we say a defense, especially, is “all over the place,” it means they’re kicking ass and “swarming to the ball.”

Game played. You’ll hear “He had 21 goals in 60 appearances for club and country.”

In England a team is plural; that is, you’ll hear “Arsenal are really good.” In the States, we’d say “Arsenal is.”

When I was headed to Sunderland to see them play Arsenal, my Sunderland friends assured me Arsenal would win the game “at a canter.” And the did, 2-0.

At sixes and sevens

Confused and dysfunctional, usually referring to defense. Apparently comes from some sort of dice game.

In defense, as in, “United are shit at the back”

How they say “at,” as in “Crystal Palace are away to Spurs this weekend.”

Defense – you generally have four guys back there.

This one throws off a lot of Americans; it refers to the support staff of a club, which Americans call the Front Office.

The thing they kick, of course, but also what they call a pass — as in, “That was a great ball from Gerrard.” American football is starting to use this, as well.

Looks like Big Sam will soon be throwing teacups. (via vrinsidesports.com)

Sam Allardyce, currently the manager of West Ham United.

What we call shoes or cleats

The 18-yard penalty area which, sadly, many American announcers refer to as “the 18.” This needs to stop.

The day after Christmas, when the whole league plays.

Two goals in a game

Doing well. You’ll even hear something like “Cardiff started the brighter in the first half.”

In the mid 50s, Manchester United was winning league titles with a team that averaged about 22 years old, and their manager was Matt Busby. This would have made them famous enough, but eight of them were kill in the Munich Air Disaster in 1958, when the team plane crashed after a European Cup game.

An appearance for your national team; you used to actully get caps

A wonderful English term for surrender. “Fulham will be looking to rebound this week after their utter capitulation at Hull.”

An attempt to stop or tackle a player

A tournament with all the top clubs from Europe playing against each other. In England, the top four teams go for the next season. This is possibly the greatest club competition in the world. Last English team to win it was Chelsea in 2012

A near goal, something which is “created” and, if not “taken,” is said to be “wasted.” There are also half-chances, where you kind of could have scored.

An opposing player who’s done something wrong, like getting (aka “acting”) hurt or trying to win the game

Most of us know that what we call fries, they call chips, and what we call chips, they call crisps. But you might not know that a fish and chips place could just be a chip shop, or a chippie. And if you want gravy on your chips (a popular option) you might order a gravy chippie. I should also point out that one of the most popular brands of crisps is Kettle Chips, from my home state of Oregon, and I have no idea how they reconcile this exception to the chip/crisp situation.

Any time you see or hear the word “City,” it almost certainly means Manchester City, who won the league in 2012 and 2014.

Skill. Same as quality, below.

Six players who came up together through the Manchester United youth system, made their debuts in 1992, and formed the core of their awesome teams in the 1990s: Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, David Beckham, Nicky Butt and the Neville Brothers. (Giggs just retired in 2014!) There’s even a movie about them:

Ran into, clumsily.

What we call a shutout

Clear their lines

Get the ball the hell out of their end

Well done, as in a “clinical finish”

Complete, as in “A comprehensive 5-1 trashing.”

Late goal in a loss. You’re down 3-0, you get one with a minute to go, that’s a consolation goal

Cover himself in glory

Do really well — but always used in the negative/sarcastic way. A keeper lets one go through his legs and he “didn’t cover himself in glory there.”

Really good one. Could be a game or a shot.

Cricket, a game that I don’t think anyone truly understands, often ends with fantastic scores like “India 159/7 (20/20 ov); Australia 86 (16.2/20 ov).” I don’t know what the hell that means, but if two soccer teams with crappy defenses and/or unstoppable offenses play each other, you just might get a “cricket score.”

A ball from “out wide” that goes “into the box.” Also know generally as a delivery or service.

Say Sunderland is leading Newcastle 1-0 with five minutes to go in a pretty even game, and then Sunderland gets two more to win, 3-0. Commentators would say this scoreline was “cruel” to Newcastle. Sunderland fans would disagree.

Let’s say you start the season with Southampton, and play for them in the FA Cup. Then you transfer to Newcastle, who are also in the FA Cup. No matter how long Newcastle stay in the Cup, you can’t play for them, because you can only play for one team each year in the Cup. So, while at Newcastle that year, you are “cup-tied.”

Lame or even mean-spirited, usally referring to a tackle where you’re just taking somebody out harshly.

Getting the ball to somebody in a scoring position, such as a cross. This is also called service generally.

Pronoucned “darby,” this means a local rivalry game like Man City vs. Man U.

A faked attempt to draw a foul, especially in the penalty area. Just Google “ Luis Suarez dive ” or “ Neymar dive ” to see what I mean

You get a free header, you don’t score, everyone will say you should have done better. Obvious meaning but common phrase

Lame or weak, usually used to refer to a keeper.

Winning two titles in the same season, say the League and FA Cup. Could also mean beating a league team twice in a year (league double) or, even better, beating your rivals twice (a derby double)

Two meanings: a tie (like 2-2) and also how Cup fixtures are determined. So the FA Cup fourth round draw is where they randomly select who is playing where in the fourth round.

Most of their stadiums are in sections called ends (behind the goals) or stands.

A wide-open game, both teams “going for it,” is “real end-to-end stuff.”

Tie the game. The tying goal is also called the equalizer.

As Urban Dictionary puts it, this is a “more polite version of balls out.” It means really going for it.

Football Association, the governing body for all football in England.

A tournament involving pretty much every professional team in England. It is unseeded, and who plays where is totally random. Bigger clubs join later, but every year you’ll see somebody from the Premier League playing in front of 6,000 people on a field that looks like cows graze on it during the week. Possibly the greatest sports competition in the world. The Final is played in May at Wembley.

This is something Americans would never say. Everton is better in the first half and gets a goal, then West Brom is better in the second and gets a goal, it finishes 1-1 with no real controversy … that’s a fair result.

Football Club; appears in the official name of just about every team. So Fulham is actually Fulham FC.

Sir Alex Ferguson, legendary manager of Manchester United, was thought to intimidate the hell out of referees. Because of this, it was always alleged that they added more injury time for United and/or let them go beyond its end — and United had a way of scoring during this time, hence Fergie Time.

From just before Christmas to just after New Years, there are a lot of league and Cup games

Same as in basketball; the act of scoring

Healthy, as in injury-free. A guy gets back to being fit after an injury.

A scheduled game. Also called a match. Note that in the States, the home team on the schedule is listed on the bottom, but in England, the home team on the fixture list is at the top. So if Everton “are away to” Chelsea, it would be:

One time I saw Manchester City play at Southampton, and after an hour it was 0-0, an even and tough game. Then City scored, and they were still ahead 1-0 after 80 minutes. Southampton had to go for the equalizer, which left them open to counter-attacks, and City wound up winning, 3-0. There was general agreement that City weren’t really three goals better on the day, which means the scoreline was flattering to them.

This is another of these fantastic English phrases that could appear nowhere else in the world. Let’s say a young starlet scores a bunch of goals for the youth team and arrives on the senior squad full of promise and hype – but then he is, as we say in the States, a bust. If you assume flatter means “give a better-than-realistic description of,” then the kid’s early performance was flattering but ultimately deceptive.

Your recent state of play; win three in a row, you’re in good form; lose three, you’re in bad form. Same for a player. Either way, if you’re doing well, you’re “in form”

How the players line up. They use numbers like 4-4-2, which is four defenders, four midfielders and two strikers or forwards. This gets incredibly complex, and I will never try to explain it any more than this, except I’ll add that the numbers always add up to 10, because you have 11 players (shown as XI) and the goalkeeper isn’t included in the formation.

When a team is unbeatable at home, you would call their home a fortress.

Defender loses his man, the man gets to head it without being hassled; that’s a free header, which you’re expected to put in the back of the net, or at least “on target.”

If your team hasn’t done crap the whole game, never even threatened the other team’s goal, and then all of a sudden you score when nobody saw it coming, that goal is said to have come from nothing.

End of the game. When Americans see F (for final) on the scoreline, they know the game is Final. When English see FT, they know it’s Full Time.

You pay a guy to play for you and he delivers, you got full value for him.

In the media, you get the impression a Geordie is just somebody from Newcastle, or a Newcastle FC fan. My friends in that area tell me a Geordie is officially somebody from certain parts of Newcastle, like a cockney is somebody from a certain part of London, not the whole city.

Get into the game

Stop playing like shit – but not in the “get your act together” command sense from America. More like, “Everton were asking all the questions for the first half-hour before Swansea started to get into the game.”

A little team that beats a big team in a cup

A striker’s rate of return on investment. “We paid millions for that wanker, and his goal return is shit.”

A really amazing goal

On the attack. As in “They have a lot of options going forward”

This means avoiding relegation when it looked like you were doomed. One of the more famous was by West Bromwich Albion in 2005; they won their last game at home, then had to wait several minutes for the score of another game to ensure they “stayed up.” Here are the highlights from that day on Youtube.

This is like saying “field” in the US but also kind of means stadium. It’s a little vague to me, but I think it’s like the stadium plus the pitch equals the ground.

Really bummed out.

You sucked in the first half, so in the locker room your manager is going to deliver a lot of noise and hot air at you. That’s the hair dryer. Sir Alex Ferguson was famous for this. See also throwing tea cups.

Pete bumps into Joe and Joe falls down. Pete is whistled for a foul. Now, if you’re a neutral and you think it shouldn’t have been a foul, you’d say that was harsh. If Pete is on your team, Joe is a cheat and soft and needs to get the fuck up. If Joe is on your team, Pete should be sent off.

Three goals in a game

Head for the corner

There’s this really annoying thing teams do to kill time when they are winning late in a game: they dribble into the corner, then put the ball right by the corner flag and turn their backs on the field. When defenders come, the guy with the ball can hold them off, then bounce it off them and out of bounds for a throw-in. Or wait for a foul. Or just wrestle with them and waste time.

What they call a response to critics in the media. So if Manager A says Manager B is a fool, Manager B might “hit out at” Manager A in the next day’s papers. See Mourinho.

Hold your hand up

Admit that you screwed up. Usually this is literal, on the field. But one time a ref threw the wrong player out of a game, then apologized to the media afterwards. This was called “holding his hand up.”

Reigning Cup champions. They hold the cup, in other words

Just booth the ball high and upfield, towards your attackers. Part of “playing long ball,” an old but direct way of attacking the defense.

The 60th minute of game, when it’s very common to make substitutions.

A total fuck-up. Usually this is when a goalie lets in a pea-roller.

Get into the game (quit playing like shit)

The way a team “on the front foot” is attacking.

Same as injury time

Jersey or uniform. Most teams have three: home, away, and “third” which doesn’t even match the colors of the other two. It’s hard sometimes to even figure out who you’re looking at.

Let’s say you take a shot and the goalie doesn’t see it but it hits the post. Somebody would say the keeper didn’t know a thing about it and you were unlucky

A big section of seats behind a goal that hosts the most hard-core fans. Not all teams claim a kop; the most famous is at Anfield, the home stadium of Liverpool. The name, officially Spion Kop, comes from a hillside where British soliders fought in the Second Boer War of South Africa in 1900.

Near as I can tell, it’s like this: “This lad is me mate, that other is just some bloke.” Chap seems a bit less dismissive than bloke. Lads is often used to refer to the team, as well, like “Get behind the lads!” Bird is for a woman, a little like our “chick” but I think less respectful. This is extremely vague territory here.

Another tournament that includes many teams from many levels of English football, but it’s second rate to the FA Cup. Yanks can think of it as the NIT, but a little better. Sometimes called the Carling Cup, since it’s sponsored by that beermaker.

In some competitions you play twice to determine the winner, like the League Cup semis. One game at each stadium, total goals wins. So each game is called a leg, and the whole thing is called a tie.

This one seems to have lots of uses — including “fart” — but in footy I see it used as getting away with something. Your defender falls down and the opposing striker misses the goal; that’s a let-off for you. And your defender, I guess.

The linesman, eternal object of abuse and the unfortunate soul charged with enforcing the offsides rule, which no Americans understand and no English people agree on.

Rumored to be signed by. You know, like some sportswriters are sitting around saying Super Striker Pete may sign with Chelsea; well, Super Striker Pete has just been “linked with” Chelsea. Ignore all sentences that include the phrase “linked with.”

Booting (or “hoofing” the ball up the pitch and hoping your guy wins it.

Somebody from Sunderland. Apparently it’s because they used to be a big shipbuilding area, and in their accent it’s “we mack-em.”

A really rather creepy way of saying the coach handles players’ egos well.

Manager vs Head Coach

I think a manager handles the strategy and the coach handles the players and skills, but this is unclear to me, and some teams I reckon. Often it’s the same guy, anyway

In the States, we would just say huge, as in a huge game.

Really good, referring to a shot

When fans completely lose it in celebration, they have gone mental. Think “ape-shit.” And watch my video from Sunderland at Man United (in the League Cup) to see people going mental.

A term for Liverpool, which is on the side of the River Mersey. So the Merseyside derby is Liverpool vs. Everton.

A wonderful term for a really small team that dreams of being giant-killers in a cup

Apparently this refers to anything thrown from the stands onto the pitch. I mean, I assume there’s been no actual missiles …

MOTD/Match of the Day

A BBC program on Saturday and Sunday evenings that shows highlights and fools discussing them. It has an amazing ability, though; it manages to diss every single team in the league and never give them respect or proper air time. It might seem impossible, but just ask any single fan you meet how Match of the Day treats their team.

Jose Mourinho (JO-say mor-REEN-yo) is the manager at Chelsea, and the media follows him around like a bunch of groupies, reporting everything he says. I mention this because I bet that, right now, if you go to ESPNFC.com, you’ll see his name in the list of top stories, just because he spoke to someone in the media. Go ahead, try it.

I think it’s awesome that the name of the greatest band New Orleans ever produced occasionally pops up during discussions of crusty old Manchester United. Alas, these Nevilles aren’t leading us in Second Line processions to Cajun rhythms; they are Phil and Gary Neville, from the Class of 92, who led Manchester United to a host of trophies in the 1990s and onward.

Your team gets the ball and heads upfield with five or six players instead of one or two? You now have numbers going forward.

The keeper missed it but a defender on the goal line cleared it “off the line”

What they yell at cheats or people who they think deserve a red card. Or at their own players when they play like shit.

In a row, as in winning three games on the bounce. I think this is always positive; you don’t lose three on the bounce. Then you just “suck.”

On the front foot

A team going for it, having the momentum

If one team gets somebody sent off, or just isn’t nearly as good as the opponents, then it’s going to be one-way traffic towards their goal all day long.

There are three ways to score a goal: a set piece like a corner kick or free kick, a penalty, or in open play, which is the rest of the game. Or a howler by the keeper.

When a game has been bogged down and then starts to flow, with lots of chances, it’s said to be opening up.

What London-area fans call fans from up north. This, or dirty northern bastards. After I’ve spent more time up north I’ll report on what they call Londoners.

This always refers to when your midfielders are getting their asses kicked by the opposing midfielders; they say “Your midfield is getting overrun.”

An effective way to snatch a point.

A derisive term meaning you’re not even trying to score, you’re just going for a 0-0 draw. Or it could mean you’re trying desperately to protect a 1-goal lead. What they mean is you’ve parked the team bus in front of your goal.

For you golfers, this is like a worm burner: a shot rolling along the ground. Also known as a daisy-cutter, grass-cutter, and so on.

A cracking good shot or goal.

If you have a lead and the other team equalizes, you’d say you’ve been pegged back.

What we call a trainer, the bloke that runs out with a case when somebody gets hurt

What Americans would call out edge out: “Arsenal pipped Spurs for the fourth spot in the table again.” (Spurs fans will now curse wildly.)

It’s basically “dollars” vs “bucks.” You can say something costs 5 pounds or 5 quid. Or even one quid. Just not quids. Sometimes they sell kid tickets for 1 pound, which they call “Kids for a quid.”

The name of the top league. But you need to know how to say it. Americans say “pruh-MEER.” English say “PREH-meer.” Think “primer” with an “eh” instead of the i. They also call it the Premiership.

English football is basically a pyramid of leagues, all connected at least in theory, and binded by promotion and relgation. In the upper leagues, you get promoted or “go up” by finishing near the top of your league, and you get relegated (“go down”) by finishing near the bottom. Father down the pyramid, in the land of minnows, it gets confusing. From the Championship (second tier) to the Premiership, there’s a playoff.

A “real” round of a Cup tournament, as opposed to a qualifying round. For example, the Fourth Round Proper of the FA Cup. They also use this for things like a “proper pie.”

Really fun, referring to a game. Manchester City beat Chelsea in a “pulsating affair.” Use of this word alone makes me love English football.

A fine run of form; doing well. I have no idea where this comes from!

He worked hard, did his job, didn’t do anything spectacular for good or ill … he put in a shift.

Skill, as in “Man City has so much quality!” Or, “Come on lads, show some fucking quality!” More or less the same as class.

If your team is attacking and creating chances, then it’s “asking questions” of the defense.

Finished the game, as in “Ran out 2-1 winners.” When it’s an away game in a derby, they probably run faster than usual.

Immediate expulsion from the game, which opposing players deserve every time one of your lads lands on his arse.

You know who he is, but this is also what they all yell when they want a foul to be called: “Referee!” If he doesn’t call it your way, you call him a wanker and tell him to fuck off.

The painful opposite of promotion (see above). Teams in the bottom three spots on the table are said to be in the “relegation zone.” Also known as “going down” to a lower league — except that going down frankly sounds like a lot more fun.

If Pete takes a shot and Alex makes a terrific save, then the English would say one of two things: Pete drew a fine save from Alex, and Alex’s save from Pete was exceptional.

Score goals for fun

Remember that year Tom Brady and the Patriots were called the “video game” offense because they were just scoring touchdowns for kicks, long after the game was settled? The English equivalent of that is “scoring goals for fun.”

Score. You might say West Brom beat Villa by a scoreline of 1-0. Also, they would print that West Brom 1-0 Aston Villa, with the home team coming first, no matter who won. If Hull wins 2-0 at Southampton, it would be Southampton 0-2 Hull.

Same as delivery, above. “He’s got an eye for goal, but they’re not getting him any service.”

Free kicks or corner kicks

A wonderful term that refers to defense and means shitty.

Allowed a goal. Like, West Brom have shipped too many goals this season

A word for shit which, I guess, is supposed to be more acceptable. Apparently comes from the Scottish pronunciation. Also works in songs because it rhymes with different words than “shit” does.

Awful – not surprising, necessarily, which is how Americans would use it. English people would just say “That defending was shocking.”

A trophy you get for winning something like the League or a Cup

If you get a close-up shot and don’t even hit the target, then you have just missed a sitter. Search Youtube for “ Fernando Torres ” for lots of examples.

Your lad has the ball in the other team’s end, facing one defender, and you want him to juke that fool and go past him? You would yell, “Skin ‘im!”

A typical bit of English understatement that comes up often, as in, “There’s a full schedule of games this weekend, including the small matter of the Tyne-Wear derby at St. James Park.”

What Americans call the game which English people call football. I wrote a whole blog post about this one.

Probably shouldn’t have been called, as in “That was a pretty soft penalty.” Also means a wuss, as in, “Get up, ya wanker! Yer soft as shite.”

Similar to usage in American Football, as in a player getting into space. Basically means being unmarked

Jose Mourinho, currently the manager at Chelsea. His ego is bigger than London, and he actually once called himself a Special One. Needless to say, it has stuck.

A penalty kick, taken from the “spot” after the referee points to it to indicate a penalty.

A team in North London called Tottenham Hotspur FC. If you want to really sound American, call it “tott-en-HAM” or “the Spurs.” It’s “tott-num” and Spurs. Or, if you’re Arsenal, it’s just “that mob up the road.” For some entertainment along these lines, Google “ American Coach in London .”

What they call our country.

Kind of an usher/security person at a game. Most obvious role is to line the section of away supporters to keep trouble from happening.

Verbal abuse, as in getting some stick from the opposing fans

No doubt about it. Generally used in regard to a “penalty shout.” If you think it was a clear foul in the penalty area, you’d say, “For me, that’s a stonewall penalty.”

Another way of saying injury time or added time

Suck the goal in

Occasionally, these terms cross over into the genuinely weird-sounding, but “sucking a goal in” refers to when the fans are so enthusiastic that they will their team to score.

A verb with obvious meaning, but also a noun meaning your collective support. A common song: “Your support, your support, your support is fucking shit!”

Surplus to requirements

No longer needed. Possibly my favorite English footy expression.

A goalkeeper who plays away from his goal quite a bit, “sweeping up” messes that his defense makes. You have to be careful, though, else this happens.

Americans call this “the standings”

Your strategy for the game: who plays, what formation, how you go about it

This would seem to mean “a manager doing a great job of developing a gameplan for victory,” but in reality you only hear it from the footballing media when a team managed by Jose Mourinho wins a game. Somehow, with him, it’s always a tactical masterclass.

Same as being on the front foot. Don’t you just love that?

Crack a joke at somebody’s expense. Really important to say “the” here instead of “a.”

This is just impossibly old-school and charming. Apparently if a manager loses it in his halftime speech, they say “There will be some teacups thrown in the dressing room.” I wonder how long since somebody drank tea in a dressing room? (See also: Hair dryer)

Teams have 25 or so players to choose from, so their starters plus the subs available for the day — that’s your team selection

The area on the touch line where managers are supposed to stay. Allegedly they are spaced arms-width apart. If you want to see some fun in the technical area, search for “ Mancini vs. Ferguson ” on Youtube.

What you get for a win. If you lose, you get nothing. A draw is one point, and you’ve then “dropped points.”

  1. This is how they say a guy scored a goal, as in “Liverpool lead through Luis Suarez.” You hear that one a lot, actually.
  2. Past the defense and headed for goal; “Suarez is through and has to score here”!
  3. Advancing in a Cup tournament; “Suarez’s brace ensures Liverpool are through to the fifth round.”

Kind of a multi-match meeting. In the Champions League and Europa League, for example, a tie is two matches, home and away, in the “knockout stages” leading up to the final. In the FA Cup, it’s called a tie because if the first game ends in a draw, there’s a replay at the other stadium.

A style of play that uses lots of short passes, instead of crosses and “long balls.” Created by Barcelona and also used by the Spanish national team. Just Youtube it sometime and be amazed at whay they do in small spaces.

The top four teams in the league get to play in the Champions League the following year, and for years this was always Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United and Liverpool. Kind of like Ohio State and Michigan being the “Big Two” in the Big Ten. Lately Manchester City has replaced Liverpool in the Big Four because their owner has about 400 billion dollars.

A system of play, invented in Holland around 1970, in which presumably every player can play every position, other than the goalkeeper. The team that invented it, Ajax of Amsterdam, won every home game for two years and won five titles in one of those seasons.

When the ball arrives and you handle it well, that was a nice touch. Kick it too hard or whatever and lose it: poor touch. Some players are said to have a nice first touch.

Winning three titles in the same season. Last done in England by Manchester United (League, FA Cup, Champions League) in 1999

Newscastle (Tyneside) vs Sunderland (Wearside), possibly the most bitter derby in English football. Apparently it goes back to the cities being on opposite sides of the English Civil War — in the 17th Century! They’ve been playing the derby since 1883.

A term generally for Newcastle, which is on the River Tyne, but also a “minefield” I am told, similar to Geordie, above.

At the front, meaning your forward or strikers.

The City of Sunderland, home to Sunderland AFC, on the banks of the River Wear.

This refers to how hard a pass (or ball) was kicked. Too hard is a bit heavy, and too soft needed more weight.

The 90,000-seat stadium in London that’s home to all the tournament finals. So “going to Wembley” means playing for a title. A common song is “Que sera sera, whatever will be wll be. We’re going to Wem-buh-ley! Que sera sera.”

If your wingers get the ball and send in crosses, you’re playing wide. If you just barrel down the middle of the pitch, you’re narrow. Nobody likes to be narrow except Barcelona, who simply dribble and pass through other teams using tiki-taka.

Of course, you win games, but you also win balls and headers, meaning take it away from the cheat on the other team who’s trying to get it

Like a golazzo. If it doesn’t go in, it’s still a wonder strike. We will now travel to my beloved Portland Timbers of MLS for a Wondergoal from Darlington Nagbe.

Meaning a player who could play anywhere in the world. Michael Jordan was world-class. A particular goal can be world-class, as well.

A world-class goal like a goalazzo, not used very often but a cool term

The number 11, which is how many players are on the pitch. But they use XI to say things like “They have a strong starting XI but their bench is shit.”

A warning; get two of them and you get a red card and you’re off. Also the worst punishment one of your lads ever deserves.

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